Angelversary

So I made it through my Angelversary this weekend. The weeks and days leading up to these days were pretty hard. I think I was anxious and upset a lot for a lot of unreasonable things. I even developed the muscle spasm in my left eye that I had last year from stress! But I made it.

What is an Angelversary? I only came across the term a few weeks ago. It is the anniversary of the passing of your angel. Mine started the night of April 28th and all through the 29th last year that I lost my pregnancy. Since I bled on an off throughout the 8 days that I knew I was pregnant, I count when I lost my angel on the day I bled the heaviest and was the most uncomfortable. That was a year ago yesterday.

Somehow I managed to make it through the day with my sanity intact, looking forward to the future. With all the dates that I had dreaded passed by now (I would have been ___ many weeks now, I was due this day, this is one year since we conceived, this is one year since I got my positive test...) I feel as if a huge weight has been lifted and I am optimistic for the future.

I think about both of my angels often and hope that someday I will actually get meet them. Until then, we continue to try to give them a brother or sister here on Earth.