The tests I had done were a repeat TSH test that came back in the normal range, which is good, especially since I hadn't had it checked since I started Synthroid in September. The other two tests were for more clotting factors: PAI-1 and Factor XIII V34L.
In my search to find out what those were (never heard of them!) I found that they are both inherited gene mutations and that they can lead to clotting. PAI-1 is also responsible for implantation failure.
So, wouldn't you know it, I came back positive, heterozygous for PAI-1 (4G/5G). FML. The treatment is Lovenox, a blood thinner. I am still waiting for the results of the Factor XIII test and the decision for Lovenox (and that's a whole other story).
So this time, I asked to be put on 7.5mg of Femara to see if I could get a better response on my left side. I did!!! At my cd9 check, I had a good 19mm follicle on the right side, and a 15.5mm follicle on the left, with another smaller one on the left as well. I returned the next day and ended up with the 19mm on the right still, and the left had a 16.5 and a 15.5mm follicle.
So I got the true joy of injecting myself in the stomach with HCG that night! It wasn't too bad, just weird that I was doing it myself!
After the trigger Friday night, we went in for our first ever IUI on Monday morning. Stu was of course not happy about the whole arrangement, but was a champ. We got back pretty good numbers with 100% forward progressing swimmers! The IUI was a breeze with no pain or anything at all. It took less than a minute and I got to stay reclined for another 5 minutes afterwards.
So now, I am in my TWW. I am nervous and excited, hopeful and terrified. All emotions are high as I wait to test next week to see if we could have possibly gotten lucky!
Saturday, February 9, 2013
Starting Over, Again... Minus a Tube
The day of my last entry was in fact, the day I got my first period after my ectopic surgery. It was nice to know that my body was trying to go back to normal, but we still needed to wait another cycle before we got to try again.
With the double doses of methotrexate, I'm guessing my folic acid in my body was virtually nothing. Getting pregnant soon would probably have been a bad idea.
The end of December and beginning of January were definitely very dark days for me. I knew that I wasn't in the best emotional state and I don't think that I realized how bad I really felt day to day. I just wanted to pick fights or yell or just be snappy. I wanted to cry most days, and most days I did. There was so much to work through with what had happened and the uncertainty of what is going to happen in the future for us.
I opened Facebook and there were pregnancy announcements everywhere. Belly photos, ultrasound photos and baby photos and updates everywhere. I just wanted to yell at the computer and to those people who had no clue what I was going through and how much it hurt to see that stuff. So, I stopped going on Facebook. It took awhile to realize that even though people are sorry for what happened, their lives have to go on to, while my life felt like it was just stuck in a horrible, sad loop.
It took seeing a very old (pregnant and due on the same day I was) friend for me to get some better perspective (yes, N, I'm talking about you, and you're not "old"). This is someone whom I've known closely since I was in first grade. P.S. nothing I'm about to say hasn't been told to her, just FYI.
The timing of her announcement to me plainly sucked. Christmas Day was hard enough and I got her text wanting to tell me before I had to find out on Facebook that she was pregnant. I of course would have taken the news the same way if she had told me any other day and looking back, really appreciate that she wanted to tell me herself. That's what friends do. But then I found out she is due the same day I was supposed to be due. That was really hard too.
So we met and we talked, and talked like we used to when we were younger- honestly and frankly... nothing held back. She told me she was sorry and felt guilty about being pregnant when I have lost my babies. As much as I don't want her or anyone to feel that way, I appreciated her telling me that. If I had been her, I would feel the same way. It wasn't until we started talking about how the emotions were after a huge loss (she lost her beautiful 15month old daughter in 2007), did I finally feel that someone actually knew exactly how I felt. Exactly. It was the biggest relief (unfortunately) to know that what I was feeling was completely normal and that I am not alone in it.
She let me finally feel like I had some hope. No one knows what to say to someone else who has gone through something life-changing, unless they themselves have gone through it.
So, with my renewed hope, I went in to meet a new RE, Dr. M (Dr. J moved to Texas). Hit it off with him and had a new plan in place that included a few more tests and the plan for Femara with HCG trigger and possible IUI if I had eggs on the left side.
With the double doses of methotrexate, I'm guessing my folic acid in my body was virtually nothing. Getting pregnant soon would probably have been a bad idea.
The end of December and beginning of January were definitely very dark days for me. I knew that I wasn't in the best emotional state and I don't think that I realized how bad I really felt day to day. I just wanted to pick fights or yell or just be snappy. I wanted to cry most days, and most days I did. There was so much to work through with what had happened and the uncertainty of what is going to happen in the future for us.
I opened Facebook and there were pregnancy announcements everywhere. Belly photos, ultrasound photos and baby photos and updates everywhere. I just wanted to yell at the computer and to those people who had no clue what I was going through and how much it hurt to see that stuff. So, I stopped going on Facebook. It took awhile to realize that even though people are sorry for what happened, their lives have to go on to, while my life felt like it was just stuck in a horrible, sad loop.
It took seeing a very old (pregnant and due on the same day I was) friend for me to get some better perspective (yes, N, I'm talking about you, and you're not "old"). This is someone whom I've known closely since I was in first grade. P.S. nothing I'm about to say hasn't been told to her, just FYI.
The timing of her announcement to me plainly sucked. Christmas Day was hard enough and I got her text wanting to tell me before I had to find out on Facebook that she was pregnant. I of course would have taken the news the same way if she had told me any other day and looking back, really appreciate that she wanted to tell me herself. That's what friends do. But then I found out she is due the same day I was supposed to be due. That was really hard too.
So we met and we talked, and talked like we used to when we were younger- honestly and frankly... nothing held back. She told me she was sorry and felt guilty about being pregnant when I have lost my babies. As much as I don't want her or anyone to feel that way, I appreciated her telling me that. If I had been her, I would feel the same way. It wasn't until we started talking about how the emotions were after a huge loss (she lost her beautiful 15month old daughter in 2007), did I finally feel that someone actually knew exactly how I felt. Exactly. It was the biggest relief (unfortunately) to know that what I was feeling was completely normal and that I am not alone in it.
She let me finally feel like I had some hope. No one knows what to say to someone else who has gone through something life-changing, unless they themselves have gone through it.
So, with my renewed hope, I went in to meet a new RE, Dr. M (Dr. J moved to Texas). Hit it off with him and had a new plan in place that included a few more tests and the plan for Femara with HCG trigger and possible IUI if I had eggs on the left side.
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